Today I'd like to update everyone on some important decisions I've made about treatment.
In short, I've decided to cease Lyme-specific treatments and focus exclusively on diet and emotional health. Through two years of trial and error with virtually every supplement under the sun, I know that I cannot tolerate much because my brain gets toxic off virtually everything, and due to blocked methylation there's little detox that provides sufficient relief — including methylation supplements which, contrary to their intended purpose, only caused toxins to recirculate through my insides. Ultimately, no binding agent proved powerful enough to remove these toxins.
I'm not putting myself through that anymore. Besides, my gut is a lot worse for wear now than it was two years ago.
So, here's where things stand now that I've pulled way back.
On the diet side of things, I've completely eliminated chocolate, coffee, sugars other than fruit, and reduced my grain intake by 80%. I'm also eating gut-healing foods like fermented vegetables and broths, and drinking daily teas made of licorice, slippery elm, mastica and other gut-healing herbs. I'm also eating 30% less food in general, and doing some short fasts.
I've noticed that the combination of reducing acidifying foods like coffee, chocolate and red meat, reducing grains, increasing consumption of stomach-friendly teas and probiotics, and fasting every few days have led to an overall increased sense of wellness.
I never before would have thought I could tolerate fasting because I used to get hypoglycemic symptoms from the low blood sugar. But actually, since my gut is so leaky, when I fast my brain works more clearly since there aren't food particles causing immune reactions in my bloodstream. When I get super hungry though, I let myself eat again. There's no torture involved.
That's the diet side of things. On the emotional side, I've been doing weekly Evox sessions. It's not cheap, since it runs $100 to $150 per week (and obviously isn't covered by insurance), but it's absolutely effective and quite fascinating. Oh, what's Evox you ask? Let me back up and provide an explanation.
Evox is a cutting edge technology that records your voice as you talk about certain people who have caused you grief, such as your mom who may have neglected you as a child, or your ex-boyfriend who may have controlled you, or a sibling who may have made you feel insecure, etc.
Anyway, the recording reads your voice's frequencies, and based on them, determines where your subconscious issues lie. Then a metal hand cradle provides frequency stimulation back into your body, targeting these emotional weaknesses.
When I first started hearing chatter about Evox in the Lyme community about 18 months ago, I wrote it off as hogwash. My skepticism turned into interest as friends started raving about their results, but I was dealing with other treatments at the time — so I kept pushing it back on my list of things to try.
I finally decided to find an Evox practitioner after one of my friends insisted my emotional turmoil is such an astronomical problem for me that I would probably never achieve the level of health I yearn for unless I get my emotions in check. At the same time, another friend started sharing her own incredible experiences with Evox. I felt like the Universe was telling me something.
As someone who's been verbally abused much of my life (I prefer not to say by whom) and was bullied in school from second grade through high school, I definitely have unhealed emotional scars. And they probably are playing a major role in my sickness.
I started Evox about five weeks ago and plan to continue until I leave California in a couple months. So far, the software has addressed my struggles with invalidation, critical thinking, unworthiness, suppressed emotional expression, and more. More than any of the other categories, invalidation seems to come up the most often — regardless of whom we are discussing in that session. I can attest that invalidation indeed feels like my strongest emotional hurdle.
Anyway, after each session, I notice reactions both immediately and after a day or two. I can definitely say it's more effective than talk therapy ever was. Ultimately, I'm reacting to situations differently than before, delightfully!
I should also note that I am supplementing Evox with a Bach flower remedy called Spinifex which, when taken as drops under the tongue, reduces one's feeling of being a victim. I first tried it in the midst of a crying spell over a friend hurting my feelings, and I almost instantly felt less like a victim and more confident. I was able to stop crying and resume normal activities and thoughts.
I feel freer than ever before. While I've always been self-sufficient in terms of managing my life, I've never felt emotionally self-sufficient. It's as though I finally understand that I don't actually need anybody else to make me feel confident or validated. I alone provide that fulfillment. I've understood that concept before, but I've never felt it until now.
Every Lymie has unique needs and there is no "one size fits all" in Lyme disease. I decided I wasn't going to sit around taking antibiotics, blood thinners, cyst busters, anti-parasitics, Chinese herbs, minerals, and a hundred more supplements, since I kept feeling sicker and couldn't function at a basic level (i.e. getting dressed or cooking for myself) while taking any of them.
The more I took, not only the more brain-toxic I felt (i.e. brain fog, impaired cognitive abilities, migraines, and rage), but the more damaged my stomach became. I had increasing bouts of nausea and dry heaving, and started to develop actual ulcers — several of them.
No amount of food eaten along with supplements fixed this. I would take my pills with a big meal of chicken and rice pilaf with spinach on the side, and about two hours later I would be dry heaving into the toilet bowl.
Whether the year-and-a-half or so I spent on antibiotics killed my Lyme or not, I do not know. Actually, according to BioSet, the Lyme is still there in small amounts. But I don't think recovery should be about data or reports. I think recovery should be about how a person feels.
And since I just can't take most medications anymore — and was pretty much forced into alternate lifestyle changes — I'm noticing a marked increase in quality of life since changing my diet and starting Evox.
I should mention, for the sake of full disclosure, that I do still take two orals daily — Cymbalta and Armour thyroid. These are my staples and are non-negotiable. And, I do take a sublingual B complex, use occasional progesterone cream, put some herbal liquid drops under my tongue as needed, and use a tanning bed once a week for Vitamin D.
It sounds too good to be true, but I hardly feel depressed anymore! One disclaimer though — I can't say how much of this is my diet/Evox and how much is actual happenings in my life. For instance, I'm a couple months out from embarking on a cross-country move that gives me adrenaline- and dopamine-infused butterflies at the mere thought!
Another example: after a close friend recently decided that he/she had "outgrown" our friendship, I chose self-respect over self-pity. Over the years, this person had found many ways to make me feel inadequate and undesirable, but I kept making them a priority. Well, we've all heard the saying, "Never make someone a priority who makes you an option." In this case, I wasn't just an option, but repeatedly reminded of my undesirable qualities. Only someone with no self respect would allow themselves to continue to be victimized in that way. For all the ways this person "outgrew" our friendship, I had enough of my own reasons to walk away.
Like a drug addict must brave the torture of quitting cold turkey, kicking and screaming for one more hit — only to feel overwhelming gratitude once they are clean, I am ecstatic that I have arrived on the other side of that ordeal. Whole. And loved. Fueled internally — not clinging to (and blinded by) external stimuli.
So good things, life-changing things, are happening. All at once and coming together. Is it the avoidance of acidifying foods? The elimination of white sugar? The continuation of probiotics? The Evox? Situations in my life? The tanning bed? A combination of all of the above? Probably, yes.
I don't make the assumption that this is all I need, since many promising treatments have started with a bang and tapered off with time. So I'll just keep doing this and reevaluate in the near future.
If I start to notice my body crumbling again, I may finally have to try the Rife machine — as-of-yet unventured territory! Hear that, Rife? You're on my list of things to still try! But no more oral medication. No, no, no. I'll do intramuscular shots. I'll stick i.v.s into my veins. I'll shove pills up my asshole. And I will plug myself into electronics. But I won't burn away my stomach lining ever again.
So I guess we shall see! As always, I will keep you posted!